


Been Searching High And Low For This- I See You've Been Focusing On The 'High'

by DontOffendTheBees



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Drunken Confessions, Fluff, M/M, Marijuana, Pre-Relationship, Recreational Drug Use, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-19 09:24:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12407622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontOffendTheBees/pseuds/DontOffendTheBees
Summary: Todd snorted and looked up at him, face the softest Dirk had ever seen it."Dork."This... was a very confusing turn the evening had taken.In which Dirk finds out just how cuddly a stoned Todd can truly be.





	Been Searching High And Low For This- I See You've Been Focusing On The 'High'

**Author's Note:**

> Ayyy it’s me again!
> 
> I just really wanted to do something fluffy, so today I’ve been bashing out some more fic in the groupchat based on a convo I had with the wonderful kieren-fucking-walker.
> 
> This is basically fluff fluff fluff, with a tiny bit of Dirk-typical low self-esteem/disbelief, and uh... lots of weed. Idk what to tell you, Todd’s a fucking stoner and I’ve got receipts.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy! <3

Dirk had learned quite a long time ago that Todd wasn’t much of a phone-answerer. Sometimes Dirk wondered why he even _carried_ the blasted thing if he had no intention of using it as anything more than an expensive pocket-filler slash paperweight. Dirk was quite used to it by now, but that didn't make it any less frustrating when Todd had his little uncommunicative spells when Dirk had important questions to ask him.

Such as: is three weeks _too_ out of date for milk to be usable?

Dirk eyed the carton dubiously, sniffing. It smelled... not nice? He thought. But, as Todd and many others had pointed out to him, he didn't have the best judgment of these things. He blamed the slop they served at Blackwing in his childhood entirely. How was he to know what 'good' food smelled and tasted like when _that_ was all he had as a basis for comparison? He made a frustrated noise and checked his phone. No reply. He tried calling Todd's number again. No answer. Bugger. Dirk _really_ wanted a cup of tea. And the shop was ten entire minutes away... and probably closed.

Well. If Todd wasn't going to answer his phone, he left Dirk with little choice but to come ask him in person.

Dirk grabbed the carton and his keys, and set out decisively for Todd's flat. He was only on the floor above- it was closer than the shops for sure! And maybe if the milk was unusable Todd would have some in slightly better shape.

He took the stairs two at a time, quickly; a habit Farah despised, always with the "Dirk! Slow down, you're going to hurt yourself!" Honestly, he was a grown man, he could run up stairs! He could run with _scissors_ if he wanted to! Not that he did particularly want to. In fact, what with that whole alternate dimension debacle of the year prior, he'd be quite happy to never see a pair of scissors again in his life. But they _did_ make scrapbooking an awful lot simpler, so he persevered.

He rounded the corner onto Todd's floor, striding the short stretch of corridor and rapping smartly on his door- _a-rat-tat-tat_ \- and waiting.

No answer.

He frowned. Todd must be in. Who would he be with? Farah was busy tonight. With Amanda. And he certainly wasn't with Dirk, he would've noticed. Maybe. That was all of his friends. What else would he be doing? He knocked again, this time making it as long and annoying as possible in the hopes of coaxing Todd out like a grumpy hermit crab to put an end to it.

Still no answer.

He looked down. He could see a thin line of light beneath the door. Definitely in, then. Just not answering. _Rude_. Dirk tried one more knock, but he wasn't sure what he was expecting at this point. Damn. Why did Todd have to go and fix this door?

Oh, well. It's not a like a door was a requirement for entry.

Dirk rolled his eyes and strolled off towards the stairs. Honestly, Todd had to go and make everything a bloody chore, didn't he?

He hurtled down the stairs- _not_ falling on his face, thank you very much, Farah- and left the building, briefly pausing as the chilly winter air caught him by surprise. And he'd left without his jacket. But if he walked back up the stairs again to get it he might as well have gone to the shop in the first place, and he was _not_ about to admit defeat that easily. He steeled himself and darted around the side of the building.

The fire escape was where it had always been- a little worse for wear these days, what with the myriad of unpleasant customers they'd had to deal with who had no respect for personal boundaries or the concept of 'office hours only'. But perfectly serviceable, or so Dirk hoped. He clambered on top of the dumpster and lunged for the ladder, managing to catch it after only a few dud attempts. _Oof_ , cold metal, yuck. How inconsiderate Todd was being, making Dirk go to all this effort! He'd better bloody appreciate it.

He dragged himself up with difficulty- he possibly hadn't been taking Farah's workouts as seriously as he should- and a lot of grunting. But he made it! He felt like his arms were being pulled from his sockets, but he made it! Should be plain sailing from here on out, the rest of the escape was a much easier climb!

He scaled the rest quickly- although he wisely didn't take these particular steps two at a time, as they were narrow, metal and slightly icy, and he was a little more sensible than that no matter what anyone said. Before too long he was at Todd's window. The blinds were drawn, the window shut. He jiggled it. A-ha! Shut, but _not_ locked. Perfect!

He slid it open, and pushed up the blinds...

And got a cloud of stale-smelling smoke in his face.

He recoiled, coughing. His first instinct was to panic- smoke! Bad! Very bad! Oh, _god_ , was it a fire? Was Todd alright? Was he unconscious? _Dead_? Oh, god, he was so _young_ , he had so much to give and- wait, no. Of course there wasn't a fire. Dirk would have bloody _seen_ it or smelt it or, or something. And the smoke wasn't particularly thick or grey, either, it was much... paler.

He peered through the fog, squinting. Todd's flat looked like it always did. No charred furniture or crispy bodies to be seen.

He found Todd exactly where he'd expect to find him on a quiet Thursday night- on the couch, slouching into it so deeply it was like he was attempting to become one with it.

"Todd!" he called, clambering through the window. "Todd, I've been calling you- you know, it wouldn't kill you to check your messages from time to time. We have this wonderful thing called 'texting' these days, it's quite fantastic, it has all these emojis for when you can't think of words for things or just want to give your messages a pop of colour and- Todd? Todd, are you listening to me? Oh."

On closer inspection, Todd appeared to be dead to the world. Not _literally_ dead- although Dirk did do a hasty check, just in case, but when he put his hand in front of his mouth he felt breath, so no, not _dead_ dead. Just asleep. And looking pretty cosy, all wrapped up in that stripy hoodie thing of his. Amanda called it the 'drug rug'. Dirk was starting to get an inkling as to why.

Dirk tutted and went back to the window to open it wider. He wondered how long Todd had been up here, or how much puff he'd had to smoke to turn this entire flat into a very large hotbox. If Dirk had to make an educated guess, he'd say a long time, and a _lot_. "Alright, Todd, let's get some fresh air in here, shall we?"

He opened the window as wide as it could go, wafting at the air with his hand. Then he went round opening all the windows because this was going to take some time- Todd had made a concerted effort to pack every spare inch of air space with his fumes.

Todd grumbled from the couch as a cold draught of air from the front window swept over him, ruffling his already scruffy hair. His eyes opened partially, just a little, enough for Dirk to see the somewhat glazed look of them as he peered out from under his heavy eyelids. "Dirk?" he mumbled, rubbing his eye with the heel of his hand.

"Good morning, sunshine!" said Dirk cheerfully, ruffling Todd's hair on his way past into the kitchen to get him a glass of water. "Well, good evening. Ah... actually, no, it's one a.m., I suppose I was technically right the first time. Eh. Time. Never quite got the hang of it, people do chop it up in such a peculiar way."

He glanced over his shoulder as he stood at the sink, filling a glass from the tap. They shouldn't really be drinking the tap water from around here, so he'd heard, but he highly doubted Todd had kept his fridge stocked up if he'd been in here all day getting 'baked' or 'roasted' or 'sautéed' or whatever the slang was.

Todd looked back at him over the back of the couch, still looking only about twenty percent conscious. _That_ wasn't surprising.

The smile caught Dirk off guard a little, though.

"Dirk," said Todd, voice thick and sweet and slow like he'd dipped it in treacle. "Hi."

Dirk blinked. "Um." He turned off the tap and wandered back over warily. "Hello."

Todd grinned- actually _grinned_ \- slowly, and slapped the couch cushion beside him. "Sit. C'mon."

"O-kay," said Dirk, walking round and sinking gingerly into the indicated spot. He held out the glass with a nod. "Thirsty? You should stay hydrated! I read that, somewhere, always stay hydrated when you're- wait. Maybe that was for something different... Well, I suppose you'd know, wouldn't you?"

Todd took the glass, taking a token sluggish sip before putting it aside on the coffee table. "Not thirsty. Jus' sleepy. How're you?"

"Oh. Um." Dirk frowned. Todd wasn't usually one to ask things like that. It wasn't unpleasant, just... unexpected. "I'm... fine?"

"Good. S' good," said Todd, nestling a little deeper into the couch, pressing his cheek to the back of it. "S' good. I was gonna come see you, earlier, and then I... didn't. But you're good?"

"Yes, I'm... 'Good.'."

"Good." Todd looked up at him, eyes still pretty glazed, but he was smiling. It was a bit of a goofy, vacant smile, but it was nice. "Tha's good. I thought you might've, I dunno, got yourself into somethin' crazy. Some, some shit with like, I dunno, the mob or, or tropical bird smugglers or something. You get yourself into that a lot. Crazy stuff."

"That's _hardly_ fair," said Dirk defensively, prodding Todd's shoulder. "You're no better, Todd Brotzman."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, but _you_ ," Todd laughed, eyes crinkling up at the corners. "You're, like, next level, you're- you're _crazy_. Like, _actually_ crazy. I, I just dunno how you work. How your _brain_ works, man, it's _insane_ , it's like, I jus dunno wha' you're gonna do next, y'know? It's fucking _terrifying_ , I turn round and you're jus', just _gone_ somewhere, chasing fairies or, or _being_ chased by clowns or... agh, you're crazy, man! Crazy!"

He was starting to babble a bit. He said 'crazy' about seven more times. Dirk would be offended, if it weren't obvious that Todd was absolutely bloody plastered.

Dirk was quite content to just sit there and let the little man babble to his heart’s content, until a slightly different word caught his attention.

"You're great."

Dirk blinked. "Beg your pardon?"

Todd grinned up at him dopily. "You. You're, you're _crazy_ , but- you're great. You're so great, I..."

"Todd..." said Dirk softly, reaching out and patting the back of Todd's hand. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, just..." Todd caught his hand, a little clumsily between both of his own, and stared transfixed at Dirk's fingertips as he played with them. "You're so, you're so _dumb_ and _crazy_. You, you do the most, most fuckin' stupid shit- stupid, dumb, _brave_ shit. Like, _crazy_ brave. And, you keep risking your life, like a dumb asshole, for me, and Farah and everyone. You're so _dumb_. _So_ dumb. And great. Dumb and great."

Dirk stared, gobsmacked, as Todd rambled on, poking at Dirk's fingertips thoughtfully like he was losing count of them.

"And- and your _jackets_. So dumb. Wha', what the hell kind of detective dresses like that? It's, it's cool, I like 'em. They're you, y'know, it's nice, but _so_ dumb. But pretty cool. But dumb. Like, like that other- oh, my god, that _thing_ you do, y'know, when you, you fucking paint all over the walls and, and leave all your string and shit everywhere, it's so, so _annoying_. It's okay, I like you anyway, but oh my god, _annoying_. But, like, it's, it's pretty cool you've got a process, I guess. It's cool. You're cool. And nice, even, even though you can be kind of a dick. You're nice. I like you. You're- man, you're fucking _great_. I'm jus', I'm so lucky to have you in my life, y'know? You crazy asshole, I just... you're great. _So_ great. You're my favourite."

Dirk... wasn't quite sure what to say to that. But to be fair, he'd be surprised if he could say anything at all with the way his head was spinning. "...thank you?" he squeaked uncertainly.

Todd snorted and looked up at him, face the softest Dirk had ever seen it. _"Dork."_

This... was a very confusing turn the evening had taken.

It got even _more_ confusing when Todd dropped Dirk's hand in favour of clambering into his lap like a large (but not _too_ large- it was still Todd, after all) cat.

"Oh, um- okay," said Dirk, absolutely flummoxed and not quite sure what to do about it. This was fine. He was fine. Todd could just... sit in his lap. That was fine. That was a thing friends did, yes? Sit in each other's laps? Problem now was he wasn't quite sure what to do with his hands. Should he- should he _hug_ him? No, no, that was probably a bit forward. But then where was he _supposed_ to put his hands? Was he supposed to just... just let them _hang_? That didn't seem right, especially not with Todd's creeping up over his shoulders, arms wrapping round his neck and clinging like a soft, stoned koala.

"You're so great," Todd mumbled into Dirk's neck, the soft, stale-smelling fabric of his hoodie pressed up against Dirk's face. "You're just... so annoying, and _insane_ , and... and perfect, and you have big dumb gorgeous eyes, and, and you're like human sunshine an' you make me happy, you make my heart go like, funny, in my chest and... and my life's just like, just so much _weirder_ and scarier and fucking _better_ now you're in it and..."

He laughed, breath tickling Dirk's nape, and squeezed his arms tight around him. "I just... I love you. Man, I... it's crazy. How much I love you. I, I feel like I _know_ you, and you know me and you still stick around and... just make everything better and... I love it. I love you."

_...Oh._

Dirk... needed to have a little sit down.

Oh. He was already sitting down... Good for him.

He blinked, his mouth tried to frame a word or two but he wasn't quite sure what he was trying to say, and no sound was coming out anyway. Todd didn't seem to mind, though. He just tucked his face a little more snugly into the crook of Dirk's neck, before taking a deep, slow breath and continuing his quiet, happy ramble into it. Dirk was starting to lose a lot of it, muffled as it was, but he caught the odd keyword here and there. 'Crazy', 'idiot', 'dumb', 'great', 'amazing'.

'Love.'

That... that was his favourite.

Oh, god. Todd... Todd was _here_. All warm and cosy in his big hoodie, smelling like a weed farm, sleep-rumpled and soft and wrapped around Dirk like a living blanket as he babbled nice, un-inhibited things in his ear, clinging on like he never wanted to let go. It was… it was like a dream.

...actually, Dirk was quite grateful for the weed smell. No dream could possibly smell _that_ awful.

He might have reached around and pinched his own wrist anyway. Just to be sure.

But nothing happened. The room didn't fade away, Todd didn't dissolve into smoke and the weed smell remained as real as it was overpowering. Oh, good. Not dreaming then. That was good. He might have actually cried if he'd had to wake up from this.

But... but this was happening. Todd was real, and here, and in Dirk's arms and saying.... _things_. Sweet, happy, life-affirming things that, well, admittedly he'd probably never say sober, but... well, it had to be true if it was coming out like _this_ , surely? That's what getting intoxicated did, right? Do away with the reticence, make the secrets come out.

He wished that was enough to assuage the heavy weight of doubt on his heart.

"Todd," he said softly, bunching his hands in Todd's hoodie for lack of a better idea what to do with them. Scared that if he touched him, held him close like he wanted to, he might break the spell. "I... think perhaps you're not thinking clearly. Let's get you to bed, hm? You'll feel better after a good night's sleep."

Todd mumbled something unintelligible, and shook his head against Dirk's neck even as he burrowed deeper in. He really was _not_ making Dirk’s life easy tonight.

_"Todd..."_

"Jus'..." Todd sighed, sinking into Dirk like a warm bath. "Let's just... stay a while. Jus' like this. Please, I... I like bein' close to you."

Dirk's heart jumped in his chest.

_Stupid traitor heart._

He swallowed, clenching his hands tighter. He nodded. "Okay. Okay, but... just a few more minutes."

Todd answered by melting further, moulding himself perfectly to Dirk like chocolate fondue. "Thanks," he murmured, voice thickening with sleep and satisfaction. "Thanks, Dirk, I'm... I'm so glad. You're my friend. Or, or... whatever. I'm just. I'm glad you came and made my life all weird. You're... you're pretty great. Pretty... yeah..."

He trailed off. It was apparent why when a small, quiet snore broke out of him a moment later.

Dirk just stared at him. Or, well, as much of him as he could see from this angle. His hair, mostly, dark and tousled, rippling and ruffling as Dirk's breath ghosted over it. His big, soft, stupid stoner jumper. Dirk's hands, wrapped in the fabric, barely daring to hold him.

Cautiously, he pressed those hands a little closer. Until he felt his palms fall flat against the firmness of Todd's waist beneath the hoodie. He barely breathed.

Still nothing happened. Nothing earth-shattering. Todd didn't wake up and go ballistic. He didn't fade away into non-existence. He was as real and solid in Dirk's arms as he had been moments before, as he would continue to be for as long as he allowed himself to be held.

Feeling braver- bravest he'd felt in a long time, actually. Brave enough to take on the whole bloody world as long as he could do it with this strange, surly, sleepy man in his arms- he reached up, and gently stroked Todd's invitingly fluffed hair.

Todd made a noise like a sleepy, satisfied cat, and tilted his head into Dirk's hand.

He stroked Todd's hair a few times, gazing on in wonder as his pale fingers parted the soft, dark strands. Feeling his heart warm, golden and gooey like honey, as Todd unconsciously leaned into it.

He could hardly believe it was real.

But it was.

He got to have this. Got to _keep_ this. Got to sit, just sit, with this... this _perfect_ man.

And now, now... now he got to _know_. Know that somehow, by some glorious fluke of fate or divine intervention of the universe, that this perfect man wanted _him_ , too. Possibly in ways he wasn’t ready to admit sober, yet.

But they had time.

He grinned, slowly. Dopily. Maybe it was the sleepiness catching up to him. Maybe the happiness, warming him from the inside out like a perfectly brewed cuppa.

Could have been the puff.

Whatever it was, he was enjoying it.

He leaned his head against Todd's, burying his nose in his silky (and slightly greasy- he _really_ needed a shower) hair, and breathed in deeply.

He'd remember this horrible smell fondly for the rest of his life.

"You know what, Todd Brotzman?" he murmured, cradling him close. "I think you're pretty great, too..."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Nighty night, my darlings <3


End file.
